Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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