why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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