I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize