Apparently you make a good broom.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
