you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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