I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
