just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
jump out the window naked night went bad
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