Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
