Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
