Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
