Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
you made out with another girl for some wings
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
