my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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