i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
