If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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