dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
