I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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