stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
