She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
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I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
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Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.