Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
