That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
