Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
