I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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