But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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