I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i think im in europe. pls send help
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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