...so i touched it.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.