it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.