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• (425): View more from Washington

  There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  i don't want you to think of me as your TA

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?

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• (562): View more from California

  don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night

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• (585): View more from New York

  The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...

  (480): View more from Arizona

  When is the party?

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