I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy