I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.