Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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