South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
