Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
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My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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