You're a womanizer and a bitch.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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