Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
