The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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