We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
a search helicopter?!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My feet surprised me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
