dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
