the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
