My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
