A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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