Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
