a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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