So drunk its hurt
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
