I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
