Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
