i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
