If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that š I went with "no"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
At least Iām an āessential employeeā and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesnāt ask why Iām essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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