I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize