Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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