i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
