omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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