You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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