brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
