he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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