just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
