THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
