Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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