this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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