i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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