I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Too much gin, very little bucket
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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