I think my vagina is haunted
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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