i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
