the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
