Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I am mentally ready for anal.
we should paint friendship bongs
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