Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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