How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
