I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
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Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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